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Gray is Okay!

Gray is Okay!

The sky is already begging for slumber this Friday evening as I patiently wait for my food order from Door Dash. I grab a glass of club soda, add a splash of cranberry juice and head up my stairs. I decide to change into a more forgiving pair of sweatpants for my in-room dining experience for a party of one.

As I make myself comfortable, I notice that on the right side right of my bed, lies one gray bath towel from my shower earlier that morning that never quite made it into the laundry basket. The significance of this color will temporarily bring me back to an uncomfortable place, but for only a brief moment.

On August 4th, one day after Barney died, I ran. I somehow thought if I gained a head start on grief, I could outrun it by hiding in a hotel room that was decorated in a neutral gray palette. My mind, body and soul ached so much for Barney, that my overall way of thinking about life for the next three weeks was similar to a hurricane temporarily stalled over land.

That’s when I reached out for support. An empathetic woman with empowering wisdom taught me how to transform this time of uncertainty into something more powerful and positive. One of the amazing techniques for grieving that I was introduced to was coloring. I knew how much I loved coloring when I was young, but as an adult, I had never made time to explore its therapeutic benefits.

Just like meditation, I learned that coloring allows us to disconnect from chaos and connect to the present. It has a de-stressing effect that can bring us back to our childhood while helping replace patterns of negative thinking with more optimistic ones. The geometric design of the mandala with its circular pattern, has now become a favorite of mine to transform in full color.

I am abruptly alerted that my Dasher is nearing with my dinner as my story comes to this colorful conclusion. I now know that once you get past the gray and are able to reflect, process and adjust, a new colorful pathway is right in front of you.