It’s barely 4:00 am on Mother’s Day and I am wide awake. My morning schedule hasn’t changed even though Barney’s grumbling belly is not coaxing me to get his breakfast. I credit this phenomenon to my Nanny, who used to pray the rosary before sunrise, seven days a week. I am convinced, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I have inherited some of her glorious early morning genes. I jump out of bed and run downstairs to turn on the heat since the temperature outside is reminiscent of a winter’s day instead of the day the calendar claims it truly is.
A quick cup of coffee, a few vitamins and I am ready to start a day that not only resembles a carbon copy of yesterday, but the day before as well. Today, though, I look in the mirror and I am disheartened to see the image staring back at me.
It is a woman. She looks particularly pale, her hair is unkempt and there are more than a few flecks of gray making themselves at home near both sides of her temples. Her brown eyes are sad as tears quickly navigate their way down her cheeks in a mad dash to a finish line that doesn’t really exist.
Needless to say, I am staring at my own reflection. I may not have been a Mom in the traditional sense of the word, but pet loss, especially when one is going though those “first” holidays can literally be quite devastating. It is during these times, that feeling flawed or ashamed of these real emotions is exactly the opposite of what we need to make us feel better. Self-love and saying “It’s okay to feel this way” is what should be resonating loudly instead.
For all of you that are struggling and dealing with any hardships, I am sending this virtual hug to remind you how important it is to show yourself some extra love when you are feeling most vulnerable.
For me, I promise that when tomorrow comes, I will look in that same mirror, and appreciate all of my imperfections that make me just who I am meant to be.